CrazyTrain

1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin fountain.

2. You want to slap the next person who says, “Must be nice to work 8 to 3:00 and have summers free.”

3. You can tell if it’s a full moon without looking outside.

4. You believe “shallow gene pool” should have its own check box on a report card.

5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says: “Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.”

6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

7. You have no social life between August and June.

8. Marking all A’s on report cards would make your life SO easy.

9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the “lounge.”

12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or Home schooling!

13. You can’t have children because there’s no name you could give a child that wouldn’t bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it.

14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, “I have a great idea I’d like to discuss. I think it would be such fun.”

16. Meeting a child’s parent instantly answers the question, “Why is this kid like this?”

Student:What happens if we don’t do our homework.
Teacher: You’re gonna burn in hell. Satan sent me a memo this morning and he is looking for the souls of children who don’t do their homework.

The excerpt below is from another blog I came across (while searching for lesson plans) and I have to admit that sometimes I feel like this teacher does. I pasted the post here because he/she doesn’t seem to be updating the blog anymore which means that it could disappear, but I have provided the link too. I think we all feel the way this blogger does at times, but, unlike her, I do still enjoy my job and I do still believe that sometimes a caring teacher is the only refuge for a hurting child. I have experienced that more than a handful of times. And many of these kids are hurting because many of their parents are simply incompetent when it comes to the job of parenting. So I keep my sanity by realizing that teaching is a ministry as well as a profession and while I may not open a Bible with my students or even share the Gospel with them (although they do sometimes ask questions about my beliefs so I invite them to come to Bible Club or chat after school-some take me up, most don’t), it is still my duty to treat them with the care that Christ would. But I don’t always, I really don’t… It’s hard when they are being little jerks!  Here is the quote:

According to studies (don’t quote me, I’m not sure what the studies are, but this is something I was told in grad school), newbie teachers go in with a sense of ideal enthusiasm and then get burnt out around now. I’m not sure if I’m burnt out, but at a recent post-observation conference, I was informed that I sounded as if I was resigned to the fact that my kids can’t remember to bring their supplies, to write legible and coherent essays, to remember their major projects, to get their grades up, or to care about their futures. I lied, I made up most of that, but the part about me being resigned is true. It’s difficult for me to hold on to any hope and enthusiasm when I’m surrounded by jackasses who don’t make any conscious effort and constantly blame me for any failure on their part. I can’t help getting frustrated when the kids turn toward me with big blank stares when I inform them for the nth time that they have a project that is half of their grade due at the end of the semester. I’m literally living for the weekends and the days off when I don’t have to see them anymore. Is this what teaching is supposed to be like? If so, then I chose a bleak profession.

At times, I catch myself daydreaming about jumping ship and getting into another career. However, I don’t think I have the skills and qualifications to do anything else. And honestly, I’m terrified. Am I going to pass my observations and have my contract renewed next year, or will I do the whole job search dance again? Considering how hard it was to get this job, I don’t have the confidence that I will be offered anything else anywhere else. Am I going to be the bitter harridan who just counts down the days until retirement? That would suck.

There are some days when I do enjoy teaching, but I hate interacting with the kids because they can be little shits. Don’t let others fool you because somedays, the kids truly suck. Even the very good kids will have very bad days and they will be a pains in the ass like all the others.

Supposedly, I’m at the low point right now. This is when the noobs realize that teaching isn’t all fairies and rainbowdust and they realize that teaching is hard work and most of that work isn’t even compensated (for instance, I’m supposing to be writing an exam right now and I sure as hell ain’t getting paid to do that). One more week after this and then Thanksgiving Break. A few more weeks after that and then Winter Break. We’ll see what happens afterwards.

http://theenglishteacher.wordpress.com/2006/11/08/rising-action/

Me:  Why didn’t you show up for your detention yesterday?

Student: I forgot

Me: How could you forget, your name has been on this list for over a week, I announced it in class today.

Student: I don’t know, there’s a lot of things in my head.